What is this?
by Poriichu
Summary: Gilberts sister is coming back from an exchange program! He was happy at first but some very unexpected things happen an in the end his whole world gets flipped upside down! Follow him on his crazy summer holiday and school year!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** What is this…?

**Chapter:** Welcome back

**Notes: **So if you read this story you will probably wonder why some of the characters behave so ooc. I will explain it at the end of this chapter. So long please enjoy the complete and utter crack.

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Because if it belonged to me Prussia and Canada would be canon.

:::

Gilbert yawned as he stretched his arms up towards the ceiling. He then slumped back into the couch he was standing in front of.

"Why does time pass so stupidly slow?"

His sister Monica went to an exchange program to England for a whole year. It was probably the longest time they were separated and it was killing him. It was so … BORING. And the fact that Francis was gone as well didn't make it better. Really many from the school signed up for it and left the school that was after that way quieter. Now the summer holidays started and he was so, so, bored.

He rolled onto his back staring at the ceiling. But then he smiled.

"Those boring days are over because they're coming back!" he shouted to no one in particular. He glanced towards the clock his smile disappearing. He was late. Way late. "Oh fuck!"

He jumped up and ran towards the door. He already wore shoes so he stormed out and slammed the door shut behind him. A taxi he called a while before was standing there already so he jumped in.

"To the airport and it has to be fast!" he said panicked to the driver. He in response nodded and drove off. Gilberts face was in his hands and terrible thoughts occurred in his head.

'What if she is now angry? She is terribly punctual and strict in time tables! She is going to turn me into minced meat!' he thought.

:::

In the airport he hastily looked for the familiar sight of his sister. He finally spotted her then standing with her back towards him.

"Hey! Monica! The awesome Gilbert came to pick you up!" he shouted as he walked to her. She turned around with a stern look on her face. Her hair was still boyishly short. She wore a black jacket that hung loosely from her body. Exactly the thing he expected from her.

"Your late!" she said irritated. "You know I hate waiting! Volltrottel (1)."

"Yep that is my dear little sister! You must have been bored without my awesomeness!"

"… No not really. So let's go." Monica said slightly annoyed. She clutched her bag and started walking.

Gilbert stood there slightly dazed as she walked by him. He then noticed something.

"Hey Moni! Where is your entire luggage?" He asked turning around.

"Don't. Even. Ask." She muttered. She threw an ice cold glare over her shoulder. "You coming or what?"

Somehow Gilbert had the feeling this didn't really start well.

:::

In the car he slowly glanced over to her. She was tired he could see that. But she was even more grumpy then usual! It's totally not awesome!

"So… how was England?" he asked carefully. She raised an eyebrow by his sudden quiet voice.

"It was fine. My English skills got better. I made some friends. Not much else." She said casually.

"Sounds awesome! And have you missed us?"

"Maybe."

"Ah, now you are just being mean! I heard Feliciano missed you a lot."

"I know that. We had e-mail contact after all."

"What? Why didn't you write to me?"

"Because you are an idiot that's why."

Gilbert flinched at the sudden harshness. He pouted looking with puppy eyes at Monica.

"God stop with those eyes. I was just joking."

"Really?"

"Yes, you are a brainless little piece of shambling rot that's what you are."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Hey you guys back there. We arrived." The driver said. He looked expectantly at Gilbert.

"Oh yes." Gilbert mumbled pulling out a few bills out of his pocket. He handed them to the driver. "You can keep the rest."

They both got out of the car. Monica just stood there for a while looking silently at the Building.

"Heim süßer__Heim. (2)" she mumbled.

"Well what are you standing here for? Let's go inside!" Gilbert said carefully.

"…Wait." Monica said.

Gilbert turned around just to see a teary eyed Monica. He turned panicked since he didn't know what he did to make her cry. He didn't do anything stupid! As well he wasn't as annoying as usual and he never saw her CRY!

"Oh mein gott Monica! What's wrong? Please don't tell me the awesome me made you cry!" he stammered.

"I'm SORRY!" she said still crying. "I didn't want to be so mean to you! I was just angry that my luggage disappeared and you were an hour late! Wahhhh!"

Okay that was weird. Not knowing what to do he stood there awkwardly. Girls were complicated. Way too complicated.

She then randomly hugged him. That was too much for him to handle. He turned stiff as a board while Monica still clinged to him. What was he supposed to do!

:::

DUN-DUN-DUH

Okay let me explain what just happened. This story is going to be a crack story. I'm going to replace certain characters personalities with people I know that are from that specific country. Their relations are going to be like the way I know from that person.

Btw I am Germany. -_-'Yeah I have a German passport. And I tend to have mood swings.

To be continued~

(1)- Idiot

(2)- Home sweet Home.


	2. Explanations due now!

**Title:** What is this…?

**Chapter:** Explanations due now!

**Notes: **Remember it is Germany we are talking about. But moving on, I am going to include more normal and abnormal behaving characters. It's going to be fun!

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Because if it belonged to me Mongolia would be already in the anime.

:::

After 5 minutes and 37 seconds both Gilbert and Monica were inside the living room. Monica significantly calmed down and was already unpacking her little hand bag.

"Good that I didn't put your present inside my baggage!" she chirped happily. She pulled out a small package and handed it to Gilbert.

"I bought it in one of the book stores I went! I thought you might like it." Grinning she slumped onto the couch. A moment passed. "… Aren't you going to say anything?"

Gilbert's eyes cleared and he laughed awkwardly. "Ah, thank you for that. But I don't like reading that much you know that…" He fell silent as he saw what kind of book it is. How to pick up girls like a gentleman. WHAT? "What is the meaning of this…?" he asked still staring at the cover of the book.

"Well since you are a complete dork in the subject girls I knew you will need-"she then pointed to the how-to book. "-this more than anything else."

Gilbert stared at her finding no words to say. Is that really his sister? Maybe she got abducted by aliens and they replaced her with a clone. Another possibility would be that she got hypnotized by an evil English wizard (Well duh) and now thinks she is … that. Or she just hit her head really hard. Maybe a bucket fell on her. Maybe even two buckets. Or three… Or four… (143 buckets later)

The most likely explanation was that from the complete lack of his awesomeness she turned nuts. Yeah that sounded about right.

"Hello?" Monica said snipping her fingers in front of his face. Gilbert blinked in surprise and looked up. She seemed to have stood up while he was in thought and was about 30 cm away from his face.

"Yes my almost as awesome as me sister?" he said making his "awesomeness" go onto full 100%. That would cure her.

"You were out for almost 30 minutes!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! Enough time for Antonio and Francis to come over. See?" she said and then pointed to the living room door. And like she said he could see them getting their shoes off.

"Wow, guys! Didn't know you are going to come here!" he exclaimed, jumping of the couch.

"Ah, what a merveilleuse thing seeing you again. Moi missed you all!" Francis said spreading his arms expecting a hug. Maybe a kiss as well. (What do you expect? It's France!)

"Didn't see you for a while." Gilbert said hugging his friend. (No not shonen-ai. Friends.)

"Hey I'm here too!" Antonio said grinning.

"Group hug?" France said slyly.

As the three were completely engrossed in their kind of reunion, Monica stood there with a weird look on her face. She then pulled out a notebook out of nowhere and started frantically scribbling in it.

Gilbert noticed that and peeked over curious of what she is doing.

"Hey Gilbert what is?" Francis asked following his glance. Antonio already wandered over to see what Monica was doing exactly.

"Monica what are you doing?" he asked looking over the paper. His eyes widened and he turned towards the other too. "I think she is drawing us."

Gilbert laughed out loud thinking about the sheer thought of that. "That can't be, she is terrible in drawing."

"Non, you shouldn't talk like that to a mademoiselle!" Francis said smiling in his woe-the-girls way. "Don't worry Monica, I think your drawing is tres bien." As he actually looked over the drawing another compliment went stuck in his throat.

"Hey Francis what's wrong. Did her drawings shock you too much?" Gilbert said in a mocking voice. He also walked over to see how "horrible" it was exactly. But then his jaw dropped. "M-Monica what is this?"

"Oh this? Just looking how you guys would look as a couple. Or a triple in that aspect." She then looked at the paper. "Did I go over the top?"

"Ohonhonhon! This is magnificent!"

"I did not know Gilbert can bend like that."

"Why am I on the bottom? No, I mean I'm not gay!"

"Sheesh calm down dude. It's not like you guys are really going to do that. Just checking if you guys are worth making a doujinshi for." Monica said casually. "And I think it won't work because threesomes are difficult to draw."

The bad friend trio was still staring at the paper. Francis was already thinking of the different scenarios that he could try out. No one knew what Antonio was thinking. But Gilbert was … in a deep kind of shock that did not suit his awesomeness. His sister, his little sister was …

"Well I'm going to call Feliciano and Kiku. Maybe I'll visit them. See ya all later." She said. She pushed all her drawing utensils with one swoop into her bag and walked towards the door.

Gilbert still stared into nothingness dark thoughts swirling inside his head. He then collapsed onto the ground head first.

"My sister has gone crazy!" he cried out. "She has gone completely nuts!"

Francis and Antonio stared at the weeping albino for a while.

"I think she has changed for the better." Francis said laying his hand on Gilberts shoulder. "She isn't as uptight as before and she can actually joke."

"Yeah Francis is right. Look at the bright side!" Antonio said cheerfully.

"Wnaa ga nd anoy odich?" Gilbert mumbled his mouth blocked by the carpet.

"Yes let's go annoy Rodrich."

:::

Oh my god finally done. But they are going to have a nasty surprise with Austria. *evil grin* I honestly enjoy torturing Gilbert. But who wouldn't be shocked by such an extreme change in behavior? And it's interesting that I don't know a single person from the countries of the bad friend trio. But oh well more fun to that.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
